self reproach monday

 

It's self reproach Monday. I spent the weekend sitting using the cold and the wet. Wind as an excuse to sit. And I'm reproaching myself because I'm so weak. I have no muscle tone left. Just stepped out on the deck and I didn't try to do some step ups and it made me lightheaded. It's not a good thing. And it's up to me to change it. This thing I have to do. And yet I have so much support, so many friends, so many people wishing me well, and the only person that can change any of this is me. Today I will go out and walk in spite of the wind, I'll bundle up if I only go around the block, I'll be happy that at least I got out of the house. Except for going to church, I haven't been out of this house for more than two weeks. Using the weather is accused .

 

I have been eating too much, sitting too much, watching too much TV, all things that do not fit in how I say I wanna live my life. The tiny steps have many thing. I mean to do better, I want to do better. I love my life and I can't use it as well as I'd like. If my body isn't participating in getting well, getting strong and moving, more moving and moving and moving. I know that's the secret and I know cell because it's I've done it before. How many times have I reinvented myself? And most every time it's been because I started moving again.

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